


Hiding Place

by deantheangel



Series: Hamilton Shorts [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Cute, M/M, Panda Pop, Panic Attack, cause i suck at writing angst, conflicting tags send help, john laurens IS gay, resolved angst, surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:54:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8545177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deantheangel/pseuds/deantheangel
Summary: John watched with jealousy as Alex flirted with Eliza. He had long since come to terms with his crush on his best friend, but seeing as he was in the closet, there wasn't anything he could do about it.





	

John watched with jealousy as Alex flirted with Eliza. He had long since come to terms with his crush on his best friend, but seeing as he was in the closet, there wasn't anything he could do about it. 

Well, he could come out. The only person who knew was Lafayette, and they frequently told John what a mistake he was making by not coming out. Every time, Laurens replied with a mention of his conservative father and brainwashed family. 

As Alex turned toward him, John quickly dragged his attention to his phone screen. Panda Pop was his new obsession. Alex liked to protest against it, having deleted it because he couldn't stand seeing the baby pandas crying. 

“Why does he have to be so cute!? He knows exactly what he's doing, I swear it,” he had ranted to Lafayette.

They had rolled their eyes. “Mon ami, he does know what he's doing. Because he's flirting with you. Because,” Laf continued over John’s protests, “he likes you! How can you be so blind?” 

His flashback was interrupted by Alexander taking his phone. “Really? I think you play this game just to spite me.”

Laurens snatched his phone back. “Haha, of course I do. How could I possibly actually like something?”

“I forbid you to play this game around me.” Alex lifted his chin with a grin he was clearly trying to suppress. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh? We’ll see about that!” Pulling the app back up on his phone, he put his arms around Hamilton so that he couldn't move his arms and started playing. 

“You know I can just close my eyes right?” John snorted, moving his phone away from Alex’s hands. 

“I mean, you could. But then how would you stop me from putting Snapchat filters on you?” He laughed as he started moving around. 

The laughs died down when Alex turned around and hid his face in John’s neck. “Like this,” he whispered in his ear. 

John felt his face getting warm. Usually, Alex didn't like being touched, so he never had to worry about being too close and giving his crush away. He forced an awkward laugh and tried to back away. “Okay, you win.”

Instead of letting him go, Alex followed him, moving only his head back to grin up at John. “Hey, aren't you ticklish?” When his eyes got wide, Alexander’s grin grew. 

John broke free and ran away, trying to find somewhere at this park they found to hide from his friend. Soon, he found the perfect clearing behind some bushes. 

When Alex hadn't found him after 10 minutes, he started to worry. When 30 minutes passed and he was still crouched behind bushes, he was on the verge of a panic attack. When he found Alexander talking to Elizabeth Schuyler an hour after he ran away… 

John sent off a few texts after running to the other side of the park asking where Alex was. 

14:21  
john the turtle: hey where are uou?  
john the turtle: this means I win haha

When he got no response, he decided to go back to his hiding place and play Panda Pop. After 10 minutes, he finally got a response. 

14:33  
fighter boi: still lookin for you man! btw I'm totally still the winner

John suddenly registered a massive headache. He threw his phone down and clutched his head, trying to even out his breathing. His head leaned back onto the tree behind him for support. 

“Why now? Stupid brain,” he muttered, trying to calm himself down. He dropped to the ground. 

A couple minutes into his panic attack, he heard shuffling in some bushes across from him. “John? Ow!”

“Shit.” He let his head drop onto his knees and covered his head. Alexander would see him like this, and then he’d think John was stupid for this. He couldn't even let him have other friends. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

“Hey! Man, you won't believe- John? Are you okay?” He could faintly hear Alex enter the clearing. A few seconds later, John felt him sit down and put an arm around him. 

Try as he did, John couldn't say anything. His breathing increased as he curled in on himself. 

“Can you hear me? Try to focus on physical things. Can you smell the corn dogs? Do you feel the sunlight? How scratchy is the grass?” Alex listed off question after question. Slowly, John calmed down. 

After his breathing slowed, he curled away from Alex’s arm. “I'm okay; you can go now,” he mumbled. 

“What? Sorry, your arms are muffling your speech.” He tried to tug at John’s arms. 

He suddenly yanked away from Alex, almost falling over in his rush. John quickly righted himself and made sure he was faced away from Alex. “You don't have to stay now, I'm fine.”

“Laurens, you can't just push me away. I won't let you.” Though he could hear the hurt in Alex’s voice, he knew he had to do this. 

Scoffing, John said, “I didn't realize I needed your permission. Just leave.”

After a few minutes, he heard Alex get up and the bushes rustle. When he was sure he was alone, he started crying. 

John hated crying. His father had told him his entire life, “Why are you crying? You're too old for crying. It just makes you seem like a girl. Are you a girl, John?” Even though he knew that it was okay to cry, it made him feel weak. 

Therefore, whenever he cried, he sobbed. He held in his emotions for so long that they just came out in heaves and snot and tears. 

He heard a sniffle from behind him. Turning around quickly, he saw Alex sitting across the clearing, also crying. “Alex?” He rubbed at his eyes, trying to make himself look presentable. 

Alex stood up, running over to John and crouching down. “John, please. What's wrong?”

John put his hands on Alex’s cheeks. “Tell me to stop.” He slowly leaned in, squeezing his eyes shut. “Please, Alex.”

Alex leaned forward, gently kissing him. John sighed into it, pulling back after a moment. 

“I'm gay. I've liked you for a couple years.” John kept his eyes closed. He wanted as much protection from Alex’s reaction as he could get. 

What he wasn't expecting was a hug, accompanied with a kiss to the cheek. “I'm so proud of you, John,” he whispered in his ear. When he pulled back, he admitted, “I've liked you for a couple months.”

John started laughing. Suddenly, everything seems fine. Plus, even if everything goes to shit, he has Alexander.

**Author's Note:**

> this is from my writing tumblr, which i barely use anymore whoops. still, you can check it out. @baguettewithham


End file.
